Tired

Today, I sort of like having a mood swing. I got angry on everything for no reason. For the entire day, I was like real pissed off. Then during the 6P, surprisingly, I was so sleepy and tired that I fell asleep while faci standing beside me. It is real surprising, because I was always the most active person in the Digital video and audio module, this week I got so tired. It is because of the FYP, I feel like a few days never sleep and was totally shag. Despite all the hard work and effort, faci said that he didn't see the effort in us. I was like "did you see my fucking eye bag and dark eye ring? Did you see that I dropped a lot of hair ever since the starting of the FYP?" Add on to that, one of my team mates just keep disappearing, add my workload to myself, I was so tired of all these. Hopefully the next FYP will be the best of my work.

Training camp

It had been about 2 or 3 weeks after the training camp then now I start to update, been busy with the bloody FYP, only if it is not stop motion animation. Ok, back to the camp thing. First thing, 4 stupid things I've done at the first day of the training camp. I forgot to bring my charger for PSP, run back home from CWP and get it. When I was half way to school, I remembered I forgot to bring the camera. When I go to take bath, I realised I brought a hair conditioner instead of a shampoo. Lastly, when I thought I forgot to bring a slipper, I realised it has been in my bag all the while until the end of the first day. That was real bad. First day of the training camp, first thing we do is the stretching. President(identity protection) want us to increase our flexibility, thus a lot of stretching. A lot of the year 1 are unable to reached to a higher level at first. Then the year one start looking for their "master" to learn either their preferable weapon routine or the fist routine. Until the end of the night, we had been training. Too bad that I don't have a student, that's sad.

2nd day, the first morning, we focus again, more on the flexibility and the jumping capability. When we reached 2pm, we started teh san da training, a chinese kick boxing. I did train under taekwondo for sparring and kicking, so facing the target and the opponent isn't difficult. The difficult is the fist, it has been so long since I used my fist to hit something, a bit not use to it. At the end of the 2 to 3 hours of san da training, my hand is literally shivering, that's real shiok, I love training. Then we got a wrestling game with the president. At first I do not know why the president can win so many people, after many matches and observation, I realised he was holding the inner portion of the body, it's real difficult to explain in words, go refer to wing chun for answer. And that's it, I realised the correct way of winning him, I told the technique(based on the knowledge of wing chun, I trained in wing chun) to rong bing, he uses the technique, yeah, he did gain a bit of upper hand. But still, he is unable to pull the president down, but he also avoided being thrown, which is a good thing. That proved that my technique is correct and workable. Then we had the dinner and a little of stretching and then we went to sleep.

3rd day, we woke up at 6 and went for a jogging and stretching again and again before we go for breakfast. After the breakfast, everyone was so tired that they are unable to do any more work out. Literally, everyone of the trainees. President told us that we can sleep till 10 and then pack up and go home. After all these training, finally it's over. I love all these training, it benefits me a lot. After dismiss, we went to help out in wan ling's FYP sensory test. After the test, we waited at the next door, chatted and watched video while waiting for wan ling to finish everything. When wan ling finished, it is about 7pm already. We went for dinner and then go home.

Shopping with the stars

We had been talking that we need to go out and shop for some clothing, like a lot of the stars don't have much things to wear. So one day, we decide to go out and shop at far east after the training on the last friday. We went to my parent's stall and had our lunch/dinner first, then we head to far east via the bus no14. When we got there, we start to walk around to see what we can buy. Overall, wan ling bought the most, eileen bought a dress and one more thing which I forgot what it is, I bought a black long sleeve shirt. After that, it is too late to shop as a lot of the other shop we closing, so we went to subway and had some chat before heading home. I will make a short music video based on the 6 stars pictures soon, just wait for it arh. Next post, I will talk about the wushu training camp.

Feeling a lot better.

It has been 2 weeks after the incident. I can't say I am hundred percent ok, but I am a lot better. I've seen through somethings during this period, I know that love can be decieving, even though the girl show that she cares for you, but it might be a different overall. Now, alvin try to ask me to get into another relationship, he said that she is not good enough for me, ask me to go woo another girl. It's not that I don't want, it's just that I still cannot forget about her. Sometime when I was alone, I will start to think about her. Although the pain is not there anymore, sometime I feel that I missed her. I already know that I cannot be with her, I can only be with her as a brother, nothing more. I need a bit more time for me to get into another relationship.

能这么容易忘记一个人吗？ Is it very difficult to forget someone?

今天到跆拳道训练， 心想会不会遇到她？ 如果遇到， 一定要装冷静， 不能表现出伤感。 誰知她没来。 我还想说太好了，至少不会尴尬。 当我看着训练场， 就想起我们在那一起欢笑， 玩乐，多好。现在呢？彼此尴尬。 想到这时， 我就非常难过， 眼泪就快流出， 我还是得把眼泪往肚里吞。世上真有不会被破坏的约定吗？世上有天长地久的爱吗？我不知道，但是，我知道我无法忘记她，因为我爱她，却无法再爱她。因为她已找到她爱他而他也爱她的男人。我只能像个大哥一样，在旁守护她，却无法在一起的男人。咳，情为何物？

Today I went to the taekwondo training as usual, I was wondering will I meet her at the training later. If I did, I got to stay cool and not showing my hurted emotion. Who knows that she didn't turn up for the training. I was thinking at least we won't be in an awkward situation if she came. When I got to the training ground, I remembered that the time we spent together over there. We laughed, joked, chatted, played and walked home together at the same spot. At that time, we are not in such a situation. When I thought of that, my tears almost flows out, but I cannot cry, not when training with the coaches and the kids.

I wonder is there unbreakable promise? Is there eternal love? I don't know, but I know that I couldn't forget her. Because I loved her, yet cannot love her any more, because she found her fated lover. What I can do is to be a big brother, protect his sister. But I couldn't be with her any more.....Someone please tell me what is love?

How I wished to do that....

This song explains this post and what I feel better than any words now.

Kao Jin 靠近 - Sam Li Sheng Jie

Still cannot forget about her...

This is the 3rd day ever since she said that she wants me to forget about her, I'm still in shocked from then. I cannot forget her face, her smile, everything about her. Although we didn't go out much, but I treasure every moment I spent with her. I still can't accept the fact she had to be gone from my life, I still unable to accept. My heart still hurts when I go through the messages I and her exchanged, the friend finding website(facebook etc) that we had, worst is when I saw her picture. I cannot helped but felt hurt deep down in my heart. I felt all these because I love her, I didn't tell her that. I regret didn't do a lot of things, I didn't share her burden, I wasn't there when she was sicked, I didn't tell her that I loved her. Why am I such a pathetic guy? Why has it going to end like this? This is the worst I've experienced. Rejection is ok, but getting a bf without telling me? I will feel better if she were to tell me when she got one. It really hurts when I found that she got a bf....

I cannot described the pain in my heart. All I want is to share our lives with each other. I'm not a guy good with words, but all I can do is to be with her when things got worst....All has been returned to nothingness, I cannot do anything about it anymore. No more promise, no more beside her, no more....