Legendary battle

Before we go into the climax of this post, first start with the movie review. Today review will be "mr magorium's wonder emporium"


Well, judging from the weird and long and eaily forgetable name, you know that this movie is going to suck. I tell you, it sucked pretty hard. Being one of the family friendly movie appear in the christmas time, this is one of the suckiest genre movie that I hate. I mean, how many people can remember the name? I sure not many. In the cinema, even though it is in christmas, the cinema was pretty empty despite the crowd lining up for ticket. May be not for this movie, since it suck.

First, start with the character. Seriously, not many character are memorable, because the time was too short for development of character. The joke inside is too corny, sometime too corny that it isn't considered as a joke. The plot also kind of familiar, very common in those fairtale movie or christmas movie, too repetitive. One rumour that I heard, the director was a part-timer until recently got into full-time, this is his first big movie... Big movie? How can a big movie suck? This isn't a big movie, it is a fucking sucking shit movie that cheat on my money. Aboid this movie, this don't even worth the money of getting on DVD/VCD.

Ok, let's get into climax of today post, the legendary battle. 2 days ago, another sparring. The whole thing start with the coach said something to the blackbelt that witness the sparring, the coach said that "let wei kiat fight with the big guy(guo jiang) or joel(another blackbelt), since he like to fight" I was like "huh? Did I said that I like to fight?" I sure don't, but the coach is right, I love sparring. No matter is the juo jiang or joel, I will try to my best and win. I was assigned to fight joel, great, finally got to fight a blackbelt. Seriously, last week sparred with guo jiang seems to be a little harder than joel, in terms of power. Joel although got more speed, but I can catch up with him and exchanged kicks. May be it is just me or what, some how I think that joel aren't too strong, no pressure nor difficulty in fighting him. Like both of us are at the same level of skills, shiok lah. The whole thing end with both of us try to give each other the final blow and we both quick shift to our right, then the command of stop was heard, the sparring was over. What? So fast? Never mind, at least I know I'm as good as a blackbelt, now can train harder to win next time, own blackbelt.

christmas eve

Yesterday went to orchard road for christmas eve with boss, L, bob, erwin and KK. We went to cineleixure(sp?) and watch Mr magorium's wonder emporium, I will review this movie in the next post. After the movie session,we took some pictures and then we went for dinner. Bob and erwin drink a bit and they look a little red already. Chit-chatting in the food court for some time while I'm drinking the good old coffee, then we decide to buy some drinks, which happened to be alcholic drinks. Well, I don't drink, so I bought milk, any way I need calcium to prevent me to get some serious injury when I do training. We chit-chat at outside singapore power building, near youth park. We talked about each other dark secret that was actually not meant to let other people know. In that chit-chatting session, I knew something was going on BIG in yishun. It is not good to tell here, so sorry. Bob had to go for meeting up with friends and I happened need a lot more time to reach home, so me and her went off first. On the way to the station, we saw gang fight. Not really is a fight, because it is a guy got beaten up by more than 10 people. Don't ask me why never help, there are a lot of people just look at the beating. Some more if I stop and they pissed off and aim at me how? I know I practice martial arts, but I can at most fight with 5 or 6 to the maximum, not more than 10. Some more bob is over there, I can't get her into trouble too. So sorry to the guy, sorry.

The pictures taken:

OWNING!!!

Yesterday got another sparring, before you guys ask, I always update a lot on sparring. It is because that after every sparring, there are new results/lesson learnt. This time, I sparred with the same guy that let me flew last time. May be it is due to the wushu training, I am more agile and I can see his movement like slow motion. I land quit a lot of hit on him and so he did the same thing. He did one final side kick* on me, but he ended fly back for about 30cm. I got a big ? above my head, what did I do? He claimed that he feel like he is kicking the wall, so he flew back, ok.... May be it is the wushu training that helped me to stablise myself more.
*side kick


Then I fought with one young but big kid, he claimed to me last week that he can beat me, I said try me. In the end he lost to me, so this week he ask me to give him chance to practice those kicks in sparring, so don't hit him too hard and fast, I said ok. I let him kick as much as he want throughout the first minute of the sparring, he is good enough to kick even when he is about 1m away from me, he really don't know how to measure the distance, the rest of the time, I just play dodging game with him. After that one minute, I start to attack and shout to pressurise him once in a while. He cannot take my side kick, even he is bigger size then me. One final front kick from me, when it landed on him, some how he slant his body and my tip of the shoe hit his chin. I can assure that not hard, because I already pull back when the toe hit his chin. But he just fell down after got that hit. When coach asked about any injury, he said that he almost suffocated by that hit, I was like "huh?". It's not hard, it is just a tap on your chin and you emphazise so much. Then after the class, the father come complain, lucky that the coach know how to deal with it. But that guy is really a wimp, really a wimp. When I shouted, he startled like a sissy, his kick can't even hit me, not hard enough to inflick damage, he still cannot take my hit even with his bigger size than me.

That is all folks, I don't know when will there be a game review, but do look forward to it.

enchanted

Yo, it has been a while since I update, so here it is. Today will not be a game review, but it is a movie review. This movie is "enchanted"



This movie is good, at first I had some doubts, but I never regret of watching it.

The movie was about a girl fell to the real world from the fairytale world, all done by the evil queen who want the girl to leave as far from queen's step-son, edward. The girl(giselle) did quite a lot of jokes in the movie and I laugh my way throughout the movie.

The songs in the movie are good too, one of the few times that I find the song in a movie nice.

The movie also tries to portray the idea of true love and fairytale can be true and stuffs. Well, I have to agree that fairytale are just fairytale, it won't appear in real life. But, it will appear only in one condition...Yes, love. The only fairytale will only appear when love blossomed. I am now waiting for the fairytale to come true.

In short, go watch this movie, you won't regret it.

Before it ended, I would like to review a tv show. Well, what kind of tv show I like to watch, toku. I'm going to review one of the 3 greatest toku, kamen rider. This series I just watched is the latest franchise of it "kamen rider den-o"



I also had doubts when start to watch this, thought that it might be very boring. But I was wrong, it was cool. It got a different charm from ultraman, yet both of them attracted me deeply.

The story was about a normal guy, with extraodinary bad luck, weakly build being chosen to be den-o, guardian to defend the time flow from the invader in the future. It was kind of fun to see how he fights while he was not up to it. He has to be possess by imagin, the future people that don't have body in present time, in order to henshin. He was possessed by 4, although not all at the same time. It is funny, yet show how a normal people stands up to fight evil. Go watch this too, it is cool.

first training

I haven't told anyone yet, but now beside taekwondo, I am now taking wushu, chinese martial arts. Today is the first day of my training, it seems to be harder than taekwondo. The warming up is already killing me, because this requires you to be flexible. I won't give up my taekwondo, I will train with both martial arts.

Last week just went for a character designing workshop, held in RP. I thought that I couldn't draw, which is always what I think. Who knows that it's actually kind of good.



Comment, yeah?

Why? Why I so unlucky?

WHY THE HELL AM I SO FUCKING UNLUCKY THIS FEW DAYS? Recently doing the flash thing, need to make a game out of it. No knowledge is one thing, I don't know how to draw characters of my game and so I asked my friend to draw for me since he is a part time artist. I got it yesterday, but guess what? I left it somewhere between bishan and admiralty!!! Great...J8 is big enough already and left alone admiralty. I went back to search for the sketching today and guess what's worse? I couldn't find it, now fuck it, I have to base on my memory of the characters to do it on flash.

Now I know the difficulty of making a game, let alone I have to do it alone. Now the deadline of the prototype is near, it means more sleepless night until that. After that submission of prototype, I have to make the full game. Now that is the real deal, so if you see a zombie with brown hair, walking around in rp, thats me. Fuck that shit...

Flash

Now I'm using flash to make a game for a CE activity and I need to say something before I can continue with it.

This thing is a goddamned motherfucking difficult CE activity, I mean why is it so fucking hard? I spent many nights without sleeping to do this shit. They gave us a project that we haven't learn how to do? What the fuck? Although they gave us tutorial links, but those tutorial don't do donkey dick, I still have to suffer my way through to do this shit. Anyone who knows how to make a game using flash, I need your help.

Whew...Well, after that venting out of frustration due to the difficulty I faced, it is time to go back for more programming.

new stuff and idol(s)

Few days ago, I bought a new ultraman figure and it is definitely cool. It is ultraman max, you can pose it any way you want, it also can light up the eyes and the colour timer. Actually it is called power timer in the series, well, I just call it colour timer since it is a classic name for it. I took some pictures, do enjoy.













from the third picture, you can see that eye and colour timer are on, the colour timer are blinking. Cool, huh? Look at the crafting, they use rubber suit, just like in the series, for the "skin" of the figure, allow the figure to be able to pose without the restraint of the hard "skin" of the normal figure. The crafting is so perfect, it looks like the real thing, only if it were to be bigger. Next time I will edit a picture with this figure to make it looks like in the series. Vist my friendster to see more of them.


Ok, my idol. Seriously, in the past, I don't like to have any idol. I don't like the idea of chasing after a person. I mean, why so crazy about them? Idol, to me means that a person or something serve as an inspiration for you. So the idea was portrayed wrongly by the public. Yet, beside ultraman, I got 3 people as my idol. One is Tetsuya Normura, another is Kojima Hideo and the other one is donnie yen.












This guy is Kojima hideo, yeah, he looks a little old, but there is a reason for him to be my idol. He is a video game developer, I guess most people will heard about his name, if you were a console gamer. He is most famous for creating the "metal gear solid" and "boktai" game series. The metal gear solid game is one of the revolution thing he did when he made it. It was the first game to have VA(voice acting). I know in the SNES/SEGA CDmight have some voice acting, but this thing is different. In SNES/NES, it is voice cast, which means only a certain part of the game got voice. In CD, which to my knowledge, is a piece of shit, it wasn't called voice acting, because the game character are real people. Only some exceptional, but still just voice casting. In MGS, the entire game is voiced by real people, even in the gameplay. The grunt sound and other stuff. The sound effect are cool too. The game's story was fantastic that it was called among gamer as "game hollywood".





Boktai is also another new thing he made, it is the first game that uses sunlight to play. Yet, real sunlight, or UVray light bulbs if you have them. In this game, you play as a vampire slayer and sunlight is needed for power-up, defeating enemy easier, solve traps and purifying boss. It got a small chip for you to shine the sunlight on so that you can make the full use of it in the game. Here comes another bad thing of it, when it's raining or cloudy weather, you're screwed up. You can't play the game, so play when the sunlight is strong. You see, there is so much revolutionary stuff he made in gaming industry, there is no way he is not my idol.











This guy is Tetsuya nomura, he is also a game developer. He, in the early 90s and late 80s, did the monster designing for final fantasy series, but he wasn't quite well-know until final fantasy VII. His character design in FFVII is totally different from the previous 6 games, it's more detailed compared to the portrait style in the past by different person, whom I happened to forgot his name. His design in FFVII rise up a lot of comments, both negative and positive. Positive is justl ike what I said, negative is because some of the gamer prefer the portrait style as it was suit more to the series style. Although with the negative comments, Square(now was called square enix, SE) saw the potential in him and made him did the design for FFVIII, FFIX, FFX and FFXII. After seeing the good job he done for the company, he was given more authority, so he is now a director, character designer and other position. He name was burnt deeper into gamer by his creation of kingdom hearts, a game of combining both disney characters/movie and final fantasy characters along with original story line. He also directed the greatest movie ever(to me at least), final fantasy VII: advent children, those who watch it will know why.





He success hadn't stop yet, he is not in charge of directing final fantasy XIII: versus, character designing for all three FF in fabula crystallis project. Now, I think it is almost done. He is now in charge with more projects, the 3 Kingdom hearts spin-off on the 3 portable game console, PSP, NDS and mobile phone. You know what? He is only 37 and he got all these success story. Who one earth can have so much success at that age? Not that many I guess...That is why he is my idol, success stories. I studied game developing is because both of them, they inspired me.









I don't know how many of you know who is donnie yen, but he is definitely my idol. He is an actor/direct/action director from hong kong. He is well know in the early 90s by the movie "once upon a time in china 2", he fought with jet li using staffs and finally cloth staff.





That fight is still considered the best in martial arts movie until now. He then went on to make a lot of other movies and stuff, even oversea too. Some examples of them are blade 2 and stormbreaker. He then appear in more movies recently such as dragon tiger gate, SPL(killzone) and recently flash point.





dragon tiger gate




SPL

He is only 44 years old today and he still looks so young. To me, he definitely on tie with the "best martial art actor" with jet li. His punches and kicks are so fast, I think he can also be called "bruce lee no.2" He also win a lot of award, even from oversea. I am a martial artist too and one day I wish to be as strong as him. So, I must train harder to reach that goal.

Well, that is all for today, stay tune for more and a review of shitty game in the next few post.

chain of memories

After reading xvan previous post, lots of memories started to link to gather, starting to remember all things that was forgotten...or should I say, I want it to be forgotten...my grand father.

As soon as I know my own existence, my grand father was very caring about me. There isn't any one instant that I was left out by him, he is always by my side and taking care of me to the best he can. I cannot imagine how happy I am when I was with my grand father, I can feel the warmth in my heart, even when I was at the darkest time of my life, he is always there for me. Not only the caring that he showered on me, he is also a great chef, the coffee he made, not even blue mountain coffee can even reach that level. It might because the care I can taste and feel in the coffee. If want to ask why I love coffee, may be it is because I want something to remember my grand father, even though I try so hard to forget him.

Why I want to try to forget him? Because I don't want to feel lonely any more, I don't want to think that he is no longer beside me when I walk down my life path. Why? Why you have to leave me so soon? I want to be with you as long as I can, I want to show my care to you too. I even think of wanting you to carry your great-grandson. Why you have to leave me so soon? WHY....?

I want to tell everyone who is reading this post, no matter who you are or are you human. I want you people to know how to treasure your love and care one. Don't regret like me, after all the memories being linked back again, I remembered how I missed my grand father. In short, please treasure your love and care ones.

P.S: I wrote this post in tears of remembering my grand father.

movie review and random stuff

I just went out and watch a movie called "the seeker: the rise of the dark". After reading/playing/watching so many titles talking about darkness and light, I supposed this movie is going to be good, but I was fucking wrong, why? Read the review below, beware of spoiler, those people who don't want spoiler, skip this section

The story is about there is a boy called will, he is the seeker, a person who holds the fate of all mankind. He has to find 6 different signs in order to restore the power of light and his strength as a seeker to fight the darkness. He is a normal boy before he discovered his destiny, an anti-social boy and kept getting bullied. Until the 4 elders of light came to him and told him his destiny, his life change. He had to travel through time to find the signs, while fighting the darkness, which also finding the sign to prevent the light being restored. I said fight, doesn't mean that they really fight, more like fighting for time to get the sign. There is then this servant of darkness, rider, searching for the sign while his power gets stronger day by day, unless will find all the signs, he cannot defeat rider.

Sounds good, about the story. Sorry to say that the story is one of the suckiest thing. Why would the elders unable to fight the servant of the darkness while they were to protect the seeker to fing the sign? They mention to rider that they are stronger than rider. But so far, I never see any of them own rider, instead that they got owned by darkness. There is nothing cool in the movie, the strength of the seeker wasn't convincing that he can't defeat dark and restore the light, the power seems VERY weak to do that huge task. The thing about rider's dark power getting stronger day by day, ok...What did he do to restore his power? He didn't do anything to restore the power of darkness in the movie, so he just get stronger by nature? What the fuck!? The last part of the movie is that will finally found the last sign, restored the light and defeat rider, defeating the darkness along with him. The is one of the part which I cannot accept, why defeating rider mean defeating the darkness? Isn't he just a servant? What makes a servant got such important role? I thought that when the rider restored his power, he will bring his master, which I think might be "the god of darkness" or "darkness lord/prince" or whatever that is strong, back to the world. That would be better, only if the restoring of light also bring in god or whatever, so that the 2 god will be fighting or something.

If you noticed, this movie don't have a good plot, everything just suddenly pop out of nowhere. It's not like death note or kindachi, you can guess what will happen next, but most likely your guess to be wrong. They made the movie too short to explain all the things, just like resident evil: extinction. But the plot of darkness and light is a good idea, they can produce very good story for games/books/movies/shows. Such example are kingdom hearts (which happened to be my all time PS2 game), ultraman tiga (light and darkness, it shows all the darkness can do and how light can be in everyone) and yugioh (hope, friendship vs hatred, anger) I would suggest not to watch this movie in cinema, not worth it to watch it in such high price. I wonder why so many bad movies are made? give us some good movies!!! Damn it!!!

Whew, got to cool down from that movie review, now is some random stuffs. I recently really broke liao lah, no money to change phone, which I said I wanted like few months back. Why? Because I bought somethings as a toku fan

Yeah, as you can see the pictures on the left and right, that are the 2 new henshin items I just bought. The one on the left might be familiar to you guys, it is "spark lens" from ultraman tiga, cost be $35. The one on the right is "evothruster" from ultraman nexus, cost me $25. The Picture in the middle is all my ultraman figures, the new ones are there too, the smallest one $5, the guy in black cloak is enpera seijin, $20. The one which is golden and transparent is nexus 2005 special edition, glitter, $35. You see, cost me a hundred already and there is still more to come. Although they cost a little higher, due to the "rarity", at least in singapore, but I love it. Ultraman, forever my hero; me, forever ultraman fan. Out of boredom and some of my maid's idea, I took other pictures too:

Ok, that's all, folks. Stay tune for more exciting life of mine(exciting????) and reviews.

fly and game review

2 days ago, I just had my long waited sparring. I don't know if I am lucky or not, but both of my opponent are colour belt (non-black belt). This is the thing, both of them are big size. And I mean big.....Bigger than me, practically, I'm fighting 2 wall. Never mind, get back to the sparring. My first opponent is a 25 years old guy, much bigger and taller than me, he is a black tip, just below black belt. So I expect me to get owned...Yeah, I got owned by him a little. He won't budge when I kick him, even with my side kick, he only budge little. I did a turning kick, which hit my arm, a front kick, which hit my waist, a back thrust, which hit my shoulder. None of his kicks land on the padding, but sure hurt a little. I finally did a charging side kick, the bounce me back and I flew. Yeah, I lew, I can feel that my body and leg are not on the ground. I flew like half a meter, landed and did a break roll to cut the force acting on me. I lost that round... Then I fought another yellow belt, this time I own that guy. He stunt when I shouted and I just land every single kick on him. I fight serious every time and take it as tournament. But the coach not happy I fight so seriously in class. It was suppose to be exchanging of skills, my aggressiveness is not very ethnical(sp?) during class. But how would I care so much if I start sparring? The previous guy never hit the padding but my unprotected part, the coach never stop him, so not fair.

This game review will be one of the worst game of the franchise, although the rating was high to other people, but this is my personal comment about it. The game is:

Yes, the great dragon quest frachise, one of the latest series. Yeah, right..The great piece of fucking shit, this games sucks ass from a straw coming out from a pool of shit.

The music is a piece of shit, a real deal of fucking shit that no one can really think of that. You know what, I can count the number of music in the game using my finger. The music is too repitive for RPG, I keep hearing the same music when ever I go, no matter is in the world map, town, battle or whatever, the music just keeps going on and on and on and FUCKING ON!!! Fuck! It is boring to hear the same music throughout the at least 30 hour game play. I will die of repetitive music fucking my ear.

Gameplay, this section also sucks, but not that much....Wait...what am I talking about? Not much, it is fucking bullshit!!! The battle, there is no tactic can be formed. The only thing you can do is, slash, slash, slash, magic, heal once in a while. That is the shit, there is no tactic to be formed. I just keep doing the same thing throughout the battles, the boss battle will make it sucks even more.

The graphic is pretty nice, it is cell-shade, looks like drawing. But there is one thing I hate, the day and night transition. It just change suddenly, no warning, no nothing. Some time when we want to do things, then suddenly turn to night and you can't do it since it need to be in the day. That is a fucking bullshit.

The extra in the game are quite nice, like getting weapons. The weapon design are cool, I like it. But it is the only thing I like in the entire fucking game, not enough for me to play the whole game to see the weapon.

In short, this game is not worth the money to buy it. The gameplay, music and the day and night transition already made the game fuck shit, to make it worst, the character don't talk. Why again? Why you make the character a mute? Making a mute go around the world, fighting evil forces while not utter a single word? That is just a fucking shit from hell. Never buy this game, this game is the worst mother fucking bullshit ever existed, the worst abomination of man kind. I rather die in a pool of mixture of shit and urine than playing this game, I rather drink vomit than touching it, gamers, don't buy or play this game!!!

Can't think of a topic...

Recent this few days just too many random things happened, some are really unlucky. Just like my bike being stolen, this is the second time already and some more I use 2 locks to lock it. Yet, it was stolen, so angry. Last sunday just went for my taekwondo grading. I have been training so hard and I wished that I can get a double promotion to green tip, that saves me 3 month of training. Last week got one training, we do 60 kicks, with my personal training, I'm pretty sure that I can do it good. The black belts hold the hardtarget and we colour belts kick it. I'm the first one, I do the 60 kicks and I see the hard target bent in greatly, which might means my leg is more powerful then before. I can assure that I'm stronger because after my kick, the black belt puts down the target and shook his hand in pain. whoa, even black belt can't take it, hahahahahaahah...

I seems to be rarely talk about my current class, W46L. This is a good class, I'm very sure of it. My classmates are very interesting, some are mystery, some are cheerful, some are crazy in a way and some are very blissed(which I am not.). But I like my class a lot, although they act weird when I watch toku shows such as ultraman, power rangers or super sentai. Something I really envy my class, most of them are attached, left me and minority of the classmates are not attached. But at least may be they once were, me are not even experience it before. I wonder where is my love in this earth? Is it outside this country, this earth, this solar system, this galaxy, this universe or this dimension? I never once find it before, may be before I can find my love, I already lost the belief of love already.

Who I am? What is my fate?

Who am I actually? This question bugs me for a long time, especially recently. I don't feel like I am who I am, I feel like I was someone I tries to pretend. It is eating away the real me deep inside my soul, I fear that one day I might not be myself again. What kind of a person I am actually? A kind person? cheerful? evil? What kind of people I am? I want to know.

Another thing is my fate, I think my fate is to be alone forever. Everthing I do was alone, running, laughing, crying, everything. The loneliness just stays with me so long that it doesn't seems to leave me, I got so little friends, so little that I can remember every one of them. I got no lover, I got no future, I got no dream, every I do is driven by my fate. I also thought that I will eventually over comes the fate, escaping from it's hand. But I couldn't do it, because I still need one more very important thing to win this battle. That is love, not kin's love, but a love that is between me and my girlfriend. I got the strength, the strategy and everything, but love is the thing I don't have. Without love, I cannot win any battle, even if I did, there is no meaning for me winning it. Love is the pillar of everything, the world and the universe. A man cannot archieve anything fully without love and that is what I need. Without it, I might collapse anytime, anywhere. God, is there really no love for me? Do you really wish me to be alone forever? Living in a world without love, without a pillar of light, a ray of hope to guide me through the darkness abyss, that can be the true darkness that anyone can went through...God, do you wish me to go through the darkness and stay there as a dark-lings? Will someone show me the ray of hope that guides me through the darkness? I will wait for it, till the end of time.

Tiring...perhaps fatigue...

Just came back from work and was very tiring, should I say fatigue? I work as a hawker for my father, every time after working hours, I also still filled with energy. But today is so tiring, I almost fall asleep WHILE working, so dangerous. It's not because of the working load, but due to my training for 2 weeks. I almost went for personal tkd training every morning, except for tuesday and thursday due to got test, yet that 2 days got badminton training. Still ok, since I wasn't the school team, so I can slack a little. But I train myself so harshly, I rarely got time to rest and today, the fatigue took place. All I want is to be stronger and I wore myself out, may be I should rest a little.

I got another theory, may be my soul want to seek a rest from loneliness, but my fate doesn't give that. I was so tired of lonely, I want to get out of it, finding my lover. I wonder what wrong I did to suffer from this? Why must I suffer the loneliness for so long? I tried to fight it and I was beaten so many times that I surrender to it. Friends, girlfriend, love, this is what I want. Is that so hard for god to give me these? God, you did gave me 2 good friend, I thank you for that. But what about my girlfriend? Why must I suffer everytime of wooing girls? All my classmates almost got their lover and was full, so loving and all. But why not me? Please, someone please get my out of the lonely abyss

Chage to blog spot

I change to blogspot since it looks nicer, I will repost the lastest few post.

2days ago, I got another sparring in taekwondo. Like what I posted last week, I spar with a black belt(bb) last week and ended up in a draw, while he didn't show full might. Of course in my sense, I lost the sparring, thus I went through harsher training, to get stronger. After a whole week of training, I did get stronger, I guess..then the training that day got another sparring. Again, I help the junior while looking for an opponent, then this senior bb which I knows quite well asked me: "have you sparred?" "no." I replied. Then he asked: "I let you choose, him? him? or me?" I was like "WHAT THE FUCK!?" All bb, I'm just a yellow tip, have mercy. I just laugh my way through. Again, at the last sparring, it was me and a bb, the same guy I fought last week. Samething of what the senior bb told him and all, he follow a little, still kick me once in a while, no full might, same as last week. But this time, I'm more aggresive and took the intiative to attack, after 3 rounds, standard time, I WON!!! Ok, I know winning a bb who is not showing full might isn't that honourable, but in the same situation like last week, I only manage to draw. This time, I won!!! I was so happy, everyone is looking at both of us fighting. But oh oh, not so fast, things alway go worsen, I got to fight for another opponent, and this time...Yep, you got it, ANOTHER BB!!! WHAT THE FUCK!? Never mind, this time, I draw again. But I wasn't really depress like last week, because my sparring was recommended to the whole class. You see, I'm just a yellow tip and there are a lot of other students with higher belt level than me, yet none of them was recommended but mine, it was so honourable. The senior bb I know told me that my sparring was good, train more. I will, I will get stronger and beat a blue belt while I was lower belt level than him/her. Yet the winning comes with a price, I got muscle pain for few days. Well, at least I was stronger already, train more!!!

These few days, I didn't talk much, the training left me with fatigue. I don't even have the energy to play or talk a lot. I recently just got more collection of my ultraman figure, I got 2 large and 6 small one. It definitly worth because they are the 40th aniversary stuff, not obtainable in singapore. I starting to feel that I wasn't very bond into the class, may be it was imagination, but ever since the BBQ I missed, I couldn't bond into the class although my class shows nothing of discriminating me at all. *sigh* Dear, you know how much I missed you? I want to find time with you, but you still don't accept me. I love you more than anything else and I mean my words, please don't push me away. All I want to say is, I love you...

Yesterday I went out ALONE to get something, something for training. I just notice something, or should I say I know it but don't want to know it too, I'm always alone when outing. No matter who I asked, no one show up, because I asked shun hui out and he turn out to go out with his father when I went to meet him. Never mind, back to topic. I went to kallang to find a sport shop that got all kinds of martial arts equipment and all, I spent for 20 min to find the shop, finally found it. Choosing the equipment I want and was deciding ot pay, then I checked my wallet, oh oh, I got not enough cash. I walked out and try to find the ATM, spent another 20+ min to find an ATM, took the money and went back to the shop. Chose a hardtarget, a handmit. I tell you something, I bought one handmit from my tkd(taekwondo) coach and cost $25, I bought for $20, same brand. Never mind about that any more, since I need 2 handmit to train on sparring on my own. The hardtarget cost $85, quite ok, since that other shop requires $100+. When I was at the counter, I saw this oak sword, yes, they sell weapons too. Those you can find in martial arts, of course it is wooden weapon. I bought this oak sword, used commonly in kendo. I used it to train some kendo and strengthening my arm, it is heavy and sturdy, not easy to swing. The pitcures below are me and the sword.

http://i191.photobucket.com/albums/z50/mebiusM78/Image290.jpg

http://i191.photobucket.com/albums/z50/mebiusM78/Image287.jpg

I simply love the sword, it's black and it is cool.

Last saturday, I happened to saw my vice principle from my previous. I was working on that day, but I went out to buy something in the free time and I saw her, she couldn't recognised me because of my hair, I supposed. I also too busy to chat with her so I just walked away.

I had been thinking a lot lately, especially when I went out for a walk or something. I walk in those shopping centres around, wondering around mindlessly. I was thinking of why am I always alone? Why every outing of mine ended up me walking alone? Am I destiny to be alone forever? I saw those couples and I can tell their age by looking of them, they are around my age and they already found their other part and are so loving. To tell the truth, I envy them, they are so loving and their other part always with them. On the other hand, I'm always alone and might be forever, no one walk beside me. Sharing her secret with me, sharing the joke with her, showering love to each other until we are drown in it. I was wondering that me training so hard to protect you going down in the drain? I love you, dear. Please except me.

*sigh, recently I suddenly feel that there is a change in me, I don't talk in class as much as what I did few months back, although I still don't talk much that time. I feel like I don't want to do any interaction with anyone, any class outing or what, I rejected. Although I did tried to interact with others, but I couldn't do that, I was like alone in almost anything now. The loneliness is not some other people can think of, it's like the whole world only left you and no other people. Most of my classmates attached, almost left me and one of other guy is still single. But that guy sooner or later will get a GF too, even my buddy, shun hui, almost going to have a girlfriend now. Seriously I thought of something, if god wants me to stay alone forever, accept the loneliness, I guess I have to accept the fate, may be I did something bad in my past life that cause me to stay single until now. Not that I'm being paranoid or what, its from my experiences. I failed 2 time wooing a girl, both spent years and the one now doesn't show any accepting of me. I guess that is really the fate of mine, loneliness.

I trained martial art for a main reason, which is to protect my love one. But god doesn't seems to see my intention, I really want to love someone which she would love me too. God, is that so hard for me to reach that objective? Is it my punishment or fate of being alone for such a long time? I lost many friends during my life, I sacrifice so much to interact with others and treat them well. But I don't see the fruit of my sacrifices. Please give me a chance to have that experience at least one time, then I will die in peace......