Can't think of a topic...

Recent this few days just too many random things happened, some are really unlucky. Just like my bike being stolen, this is the second time already and some more I use 2 locks to lock it. Yet, it was stolen, so angry. Last sunday just went for my taekwondo grading. I have been training so hard and I wished that I can get a double promotion to green tip, that saves me 3 month of training. Last week got one training, we do 60 kicks, with my personal training, I'm pretty sure that I can do it good. The black belts hold the hardtarget and we colour belts kick it. I'm the first one, I do the 60 kicks and I see the hard target bent in greatly, which might means my leg is more powerful then before. I can assure that I'm stronger because after my kick, the black belt puts down the target and shook his hand in pain. whoa, even black belt can't take it, hahahahahaahah...

I seems to be rarely talk about my current class, W46L. This is a good class, I'm very sure of it. My classmates are very interesting, some are mystery, some are cheerful, some are crazy in a way and some are very blissed(which I am not.). But I like my class a lot, although they act weird when I watch toku shows such as ultraman, power rangers or super sentai. Something I really envy my class, most of them are attached, left me and minority of the classmates are not attached. But at least may be they once were, me are not even experience it before. I wonder where is my love in this earth? Is it outside this country, this earth, this solar system, this galaxy, this universe or this dimension? I never once find it before, may be before I can find my love, I already lost the belief of love already.

Who I am? What is my fate?

Who am I actually? This question bugs me for a long time, especially recently. I don't feel like I am who I am, I feel like I was someone I tries to pretend. It is eating away the real me deep inside my soul, I fear that one day I might not be myself again. What kind of a person I am actually? A kind person? cheerful? evil? What kind of people I am? I want to know.

Another thing is my fate, I think my fate is to be alone forever. Everthing I do was alone, running, laughing, crying, everything. The loneliness just stays with me so long that it doesn't seems to leave me, I got so little friends, so little that I can remember every one of them. I got no lover, I got no future, I got no dream, every I do is driven by my fate. I also thought that I will eventually over comes the fate, escaping from it's hand. But I couldn't do it, because I still need one more very important thing to win this battle. That is love, not kin's love, but a love that is between me and my girlfriend. I got the strength, the strategy and everything, but love is the thing I don't have. Without love, I cannot win any battle, even if I did, there is no meaning for me winning it. Love is the pillar of everything, the world and the universe. A man cannot archieve anything fully without love and that is what I need. Without it, I might collapse anytime, anywhere. God, is there really no love for me? Do you really wish me to be alone forever? Living in a world without love, without a pillar of light, a ray of hope to guide me through the darkness abyss, that can be the true darkness that anyone can went through...God, do you wish me to go through the darkness and stay there as a dark-lings? Will someone show me the ray of hope that guides me through the darkness? I will wait for it, till the end of time.