Mask

A lot of the times, people wear mask to fit into a specify clique that they want to stick with. Some times people don't wear mask. The irony fact is that people can accept people that wear mask but not those that do not wear mask. It is true that people who don't wear mask are more reliable, but they are only disposable tools for those that wear mask. Those who don't wear mask are normally loner. They are pure at heart, but people don't accept them nor be friends with them, resulting them to drown in their own sorrow alone.

Sigh

Today is another day that I can't chat with you, that really made me pissed off at myself. Why am I so useless? I love you, but I never once said it to you. Sometimes when I want to tell you, things happen. It has been one year, throughout this one year, I realised that I still love you even though you sort of cheated me before. Even my friends said that I'm stupid to still loving you after all these and after one year. But what to do? You are my only love, no other people.

What should I do?

I got this mixed feeling, good and bad feeling. Couple of days ago, I dreamed about her, I remembered that dream very clearly. She finally said "yes", me and her finally got together as a couple. Not only that, I remembered that she kept repeating that she loves me, about 3 times. After that, I woke up. The moment I woke up, I was already in deep thinking mode. I scared it might be a premonition about bad stuff, but I also heard that dreams is a premonition about what's going to happen. I don't know, I really don't know. One thing's for sure, I really loves her, I really do. I never once love a girl so deeply, so deep that I don't put other girls in my mind nor my eye. She's the only one that gave me such strong feeling. I wanted to love her as much as infinite, I wanted to protect her from every harmful stuff. But, does she loves me too?

hm..

I felt happy just talking to you, I smile just by looking at you. Can we really become a pair?

New year

Today marks the first day of 2010 and the first hour of 2010. For my first post of 2010, I will put down my new year resolution, this year, it would be a shorter one.

new year resolution 2010:
1) Be with you and love you forever.
2) Train even harder in martial arts and hopefully will become stronger than who I am now.(in terms of practical fights)
3)Get into NTU.
4) Stay healthy
5) Loving you.

love

Love is a topic that no man can really find the true answer to it, but human never stop to look for what is true love. Different people got different thinking about love and also different way to approach it. For me, love is something so complex and simple that it's not easy to understand. For 20 years of my life, I had been searching what is love and stuff(this doesn't happens until 6 years ago when I had my first crush). Until I fall in love with her, then I realised that those that I had crush before were nothing but illusion. Those crushes, I only say I like them, but nothing more than that. For her, I say that I love her. Love is really profound, all I want is to see her smile everyday, I don't want to see her sad or down. I want her to be happy. During that time, that is what I thought. Then something happened, I was very sad, but one thing for sure, I want her to be happy no matter what.

Love is when you want that person to be happy, even though you are not the one doing it.

Ever since that incident, I put myself deeper into martial arts. I thought martial arts can make me feel better, make me forget you, make me forget that I once loved you. I trained hard, day and night, getting stronger and stronger everyday, trying hard to forget you. After sometime of doing so, I thought I had forgotten the feeling, I thought that I had loved you before. I was wrong, I haven't forget you, I haven't get over you, I still love you. How ironic, I tried so hard to forget you, tried so hard to not love you. But all it takes is just a simple word from my friend and it unlocked the seal that I put on the love for you. I never once loved someone so deeply before. Every girl that comes into my life, I just straight away compare them with you and found that you are still the better one for me. My good friends always asked me to think through, "you like her this much?". I can say straight away without thinking: "I don't like her, I love her". That is my feeling for you, love.

Love, is when even though that person might hurt you, you still care for them without reason.

I don't know whether you can see this or not, but hundred percent for sure, I love you. I want you to be happy. I want to see you smile. You got a choice to love me or don't love me, I got the choice to love you or to love you even deeper. Can we love each other as a couple?

Lacking of sleep

Crap, so many things come at one go, I hardly get any sleep. Especially the FYP is so tightly in terms of the time we had, I can't get a day off without working on it. With all the stress from FYP, I also had problem with my leg. It's chip fracture, which means a part of my bone was chip off. It's either I remove that chip or I just leave it alone, depends on what the doctor will decide. Also, I just went for my NS checkup. Take up a lot of time, but finally get it done. But yet I need to go back there 3 months later for another appointment because of my leg injury. How crappy is it? What I need now, is to get a smile from you, a love from you, that would make my stressing day to lighten. Can I have that?