movie review

ok, before you people read this review, I want you people to take note of something. All these are just my opinion as an audience, other's may differ from me. Another this is that this review will have a lot of vulgarity, because I have no tolerance for bad movies and games. Ok, so I went to watch this movie with a buddy and friend. At first want to watch other show, but in the end chose this, since no one watched before. It is a new basketball movie, called slam. Yeah, slam a piece of shit onto the fucking face of the audience.



First thing I want to complain is the theme of the movie. Making a sport movie and just featuring sports alone, is the worst concept ever can be thought of for a movie. When you see a sport movie, it sure that it will suck hard because it is a mother load of shit, ready to be dumped on your head.

The story starts with a school kid, don't know what is the level, since it is such a piece of shit. Why? Because it didn't explain what level of education they are at, not even the age of the characters were mentioned. I guessed that they are just secondary school, judging from the face. The school kid named mouth plays basketball with a friend, monkey and monkey's cousin, jason....wait, mouth? monkey? Who in the world a parents would give that kind of shit name to their own son? Mouth? Monke? If that were the names given to them, why not name their son with the name like "shit", "fucker", "asshole"?

So when they play basketball in the school, the seniors came in and challenged them. Mouth and the company lost, then got into a fight with them. Mouth was actually training hard to be like his iodl, michael jordan. I think it's michael jordan, don't know much about basketball players. So they lost and humiliated, mouth was depress of being called "not suitable for basketball" by the seniors. What an asshole.

Mouth was living with the father, don't know where the hell the mother went. Can be dead or just fucking divorced for all I care. They took part a tournament held by adidas, because the seniors were taking part too, just to revenge. Before the tournament starts, a lot of stuff happened and mouth was locked by his father at home to study. He got no choice but to sneak out of the house to go for training.

So in the end, mouth and company finally to the final and lost.

Ok, here comes the complains. Why in the holy mother of fuck does this have to be made? This movie sucks so hard that it fucks, it is so fucking sucks that it don't deserve the timeslot in the cinema. Let's take a look at the description on gv.com.sg and the review from other place:

SLAM is set in the fast-paced, action-packed world of street basketball, in the rapidly modernizing city of Beijing, host of the 2008 Olympics. This story covers the strong universal themes of self-discovery, self-empowerment and the truth of never ever giving up. Featuring an all original soundtrack by platinum breaking Taiwan Hip Hop group Machi, and starring in his film acting debut Andrew Chou AKA: Machi Di Di.

"SLAM is undeniably one of the best sports movies made this year."
- MTV Asia Movie Review

"Exhilarating...action packed! Not to be missed."
- NBA China

Fast pace? Oh, you mean the shaking of the camera? It shake so hard that I can barely see what's happening on the scene. Talk about the camera, the camera work sure sucks. As a sport movie, the main thing is the sport itself. So in the case, it is the basketball. But why the basketball was offscreen so many times? I can't see the ball when it was shot or dunk.

Action pack? It should say, shit pack. Let's compare with another basketball movie, kung fu dunk. Yes, the one by Jay chou. In Kung fu dunk, the music and camera works very well with each other, it brings up the hype from the audience. Compare to slam, which don't even bring up 1% of hype from the audience. The music is dull, adding with the shitty camera works, it became a shitload of fuck, it's like a cruel joke to the audience.

Talking about audience, you guess how many people are in the cinema? 7... yes, it is fucking 7 and I'm not making this up. Despite it was just being broadcast, but before we went to watch it, there a few days interval only. So I supposed not many people watch it and I presume there will have a lot of people. Yet, only 7 audiences in the cinema including the 3 of us. Shit the fuck...

Another thing sucks is the name of the characters. The main 4 characters are called, mouth, monkey, jason and xiao xiao(roughly translated as small small). Like I said above, who the fuck would give such a bad name to their child. The name is so fucking weird that I don't even want to think of it.

One worst thing and the most important thing in movies, editing. The movie was VERY FUCKING poorly edited. Scenes when has to be cut were not cut, yet when it was not supposed to cut, it was being cut off. For example a scene in the movie, the father discover how bad the academic results of mouth was, he threw to mouth and ask him to pick it up and read. Guess what, the short one sec where mouth bent and pick up the result slip were cut. That is one of the part where it was not supposed to cut, it was being cut off. It's like the entire movie was poorly edited. Guess what? It is the fucking director do the cutting! So the director did such a bad job? He better not let me saw him on the streets, or he will fuck himself, forced by me.

One good thing about the movie and I mean only ONE good thing in the movie is that xiao xiao is a pretty girl, it steal the spotlight of the show.

This movie is so bad, that it is not worth to even mention the name. It shits for the birds. Yeah, for those who love basketball, it right up your alley...more like up your ass. Don't watch this movie, this one sucks ass.

Film done.

This film I use the crappy window movie maker, which don't have much function, I try to make it good. It seems that some sound effect can't match the timing, so fuck it, I'm going to get a better movie maker. There you go, my first film ever made, suckier than I thought because of that fucking window movie maker.



Give me comment so I can improve it.

Now I am very frustrated

seriously, just now we are having sparring in the training, guess what? I can't spar, reason is that there is no one that can spar with me. I was like "come on, there is a junior black belt over there and I can spar with him or any one of the senior black belt is ok, as if I never spar with a black belt before." In actual fact, almost everytime I spar, I spar with the black belt, so fuck it, I got no sparring. Damn, how I wanted a sparring and finally a sparring session, then now I can't spar, damn it.

Ok, friends. I'm going to make a film this friday with the help of my bro, after it's done, I will put it up and show you guys.

2 movie reviews

Today and yesterday, I watched 2 movies, but one on the DVD and one at the cinema, now I'm going to review them.



First one will be D-wars, which is also called dragon wars. This movie was not shown in singapore, I just happened to find it in a shop and heard from a friend, so I bought it and watch it at home. Wow, holy shit, the graphic is good.

The story is about a legend. Every 500 years, an imoogi(serpent) which do lots of good deeds will be given the yuu-yi-joo(a pearl with magic), this pearl will allow them to turn into dragons and rise to heavan. 500 years ago, 1507, the deity afraid of the pearl get into the evil imoogi, thus they hide it into a girl in korea, then sent a warrior along his master to protect the girl. The pearl will get it's form at the age of 20, then the girl will give up her life to bring out the pearl for the imoogi. Unfortunately, the warrior and the girl fall in love with each other, while the evil imoogi came for the pearl, bringing it's army and destroyed the city. The warrior decide to bring the girl and escape, it defies their destiny. But the evil imoogi caught up with them, both of them commited suicide and the imoogi lost the pearl. In order to get the pearl, he has to wait for another 500 years. 500 years later, in LA. The warrior was reborned as a reporter and the girl reborned as a...well, I don't know, just a normal girl. The evil imoogi find it's chance and start chasing the girl and the reporter while he destroys anything in it's path, cars, buildings, everything. But the FBI found of about this legend and sent troops for the girl too(well, to kill her to prevent moe destruction.), the evil imoogi 's army kept them very busy because the human army can't win the serpent's army. To skip a lot, in the end the evil imoogi was killed because the good imoogi(which lost his chance to become a dragon 500 years ago), turned into a dragon(read above to find out the reason) and the story ends.

Well, summary for the plot, hope not too many spoilers. The graphic for the monsters and dragons are pretty good. Quite realistic, but somehow when it was a close up to the monster, the imoogi is pretty stand out, which means they don't know how to merge CG with real thing in a scene, got to work on it.

The movie is pretty good overall, but there are things that sucks. The scene where the army fights, well, the imoogi's army armed with armour, sword/axe/spear and a shield, but there are not blood nor wounds when it cuts the enemy. Same goes to the scene in 1507. The story is pretty lacking in this movie, everything was focused too much on the imoogi and it's army. It didn't explain how did the reporter and the girl fall in love? I mean, come on, who can fall in love while there is a horde of monster army coming after you and a huge serpent, that is big enough to swallow a whale? Even if it is possible, why the girl said something like "I will love you for all eternaty(sp)? It is not strong love I guess, the time is so short to develop such a strong love. In the US, the critic of this movie wasn't too good because of the storyplot, I agree.



Ok, the second movie, which I just watched it few hours ago. It is sky of love, I heard moved many people in Japan to tears. It was based on a cell-phone novel(very common in Japan). It is sad enough for me to go watch a love movie alone...

This summary will contain HUGE spoiler, so skip forward to the review if you don't want spoiler.

The movie start when a girl, mika, lost her cell-phone and found it in the library, the girl is surprised that all the messages and data were deleted, then a guy called her. Both of them started chatting all day long through the phone, both of them seems happy chatting with each other and this continues for the entire summer vacation. At the first day of the new semester, the guy, hiro, finally met her. At first mika though hiro is a thug because of his white hair. But soon she found out that he is actually pure in heart, both also found that they are in love with each other and then they were both a couple. But becoming an item attracts the jealousy from the ex-girlfriend of hiro, saki. Saki did something to mika and hiro promised that he will protect her forever. Well, revenge aren't just like that, saki did more sabotage on mika, but it was put to a stop by hiro...for a while. At one day, mika found out that she was pregnant, it was hiro's. She asked him out to a cafe a talk things out, hiro ran out right after hearing the news. A while later, he returned with baby products, he promised that he will take care of the baby and give happiness to mika and their child. Both of them convince hiro's parents, but some trouble with mika's parents. He even went to dye his hair black and cut it short, sincere huh? Saki's revenge was not over yet, she do rough things on mika, which ends up mika's miscarriage(sp). Both hiro and mika was heart broken, they promised each othe to return to the spot where they met face to face for the first time, to pray for their dead child. 2nd year of high school(JC in singapore), Hiro stop turning up to class and reply to mika's messages. Mika finally went to his house with her friend to attend a party at hiro's home...room exactly. Mika found out that hiro is actually dating other girl and then they broke off. They became like stranger even when they crossed path in school, well, at least hiro did that. Every year christmas eve, mika went to pray for her child, found out that there are offering(baby glove) and a snow man(something like a tomb-stone for their child), it seems that hiro did come. Finally mika graduated from high school and attend an university, she was dating other guy too, but she still visit her child every year. She found out that hiro DID come visiting their child, they crossed path once again, but this time hiro seems not very well. Mika knew that she still love hiro, but she cannot forget the guy she is dating currently. She knew that even if she goes with hiro, nothing going to change. The following year, the guy finally proposed to mika before mika visit her child and mika agreed. At her child "grave", she saw a man, but not hiro, it's his good friend. The friend said out all the truth, hiro broke up with her 4 years ago because he was dignosed(sp) that he got cancer. Hiro is fighting with cancer and waiting for mika, he never forget her, because he is still wearing the couple ring. The guy asked her to go back to hiro, because they are still loving each other a lot. Mika went back and spent the rest of the time with hiro until hiro finally passed away.

Whew, like typing out the whole story sia. But this movie is great, although it is sad for me to watch it alone, this movie should be watched with couple. Ok, the story is very good, everything is in detailed, no confusion. The actors are pretty good too, they brought out the feeling well. This movie is indeed touching, even a cold blooded person like me tears, the movie is so saddening, touching and loving. The only thing I want to complain is nothing to do with the movie, why in the world's name I watch this movie alone and not with a girlfriend?

Voice out...

Ok, there will be a serious amount of vulgar words going to be in this post. But I need to voice out some stuff or I will drown by it, so forgive me.

First thing, which is also one of the current issue I'm going to rant about it, holiday.

Why in the holy mother of fuck does this holiday need to be so god damn fucking long? I understand that school give holiday to allow student to rest, but RP is a school simulating working condition, SINCE WHICH WORKING PLACE GIVES SUCH A GOD DAMN LONG HOLIDAY? I know it is still a school, but compare to other poly, they got one month. One month is more than enough for holiday, we don't need a shitty 2 months holiday, that will drive me fucking nuts. Now I am boring like shit stain on some boring book, no one gives a shit on my lif, it is fucking boring. I know I did say I will train during the holiday, but I can't do it 24 hour everyday in the entire holiday! If I can do that, I must have shit in my brain or I'm dead. In short, long fucking holiday should be ban, just one month is enough, one fucking month.

Second thing, lust.

Ok, not lust for anything, at least not love for now. I now desire sparring more than anything. Hey, sparring is needed in grading, so why is there so little sparring in training? What will happen if we don't have much experience of sparring when grading, we're fucked. In the name of everything in all dimension and time, more sparring.

Last one, games.

Ok, not a game review yet, but just some rant about shitty games that comes around in my collection. Why is the world is there so many shitty games fucking up on my consoles and time? Games are there to entertain us, so why is it so shitty? I rather have shit stain on my face than playing shitty games. But there is no choice, even with the usage of internet, you can only experience how shitty something is by playing it yourself. Like in my previous post in my xanga blog, you know some of the shitty games that shouldn't exist at all. In fact, there isn't any reason for that game to exist. It is just going to fuck up your time and your console, so why do you need a piece of shit fucking up your time. Play good games, not some shitty one. Make good games and not some horrifying shitty diarea shitty game.

Whew, I am much better after voicing out. Next post will be normal again.