First thing I want to complain is the theme of the movie. Making a sport movie and just featuring sports alone, is the worst concept ever can be thought of for a movie. When you see a sport movie, it sure that it will suck hard because it is a mother load of shit, ready to be dumped on your head.
The story starts with a school kid, don't know what is the level, since it is such a piece of shit. Why? Because it didn't explain what level of education they are at, not even the age of the characters were mentioned. I guessed that they are just secondary school, judging from the face. The school kid named mouth plays basketball with a friend, monkey and monkey's cousin, jason....wait, mouth? monkey? Who in the world a parents would give that kind of shit name to their own son? Mouth? Monke? If that were the names given to them, why not name their son with the name like "shit", "fucker", "asshole"?
So when they play basketball in the school, the seniors came in and challenged them. Mouth and the company lost, then got into a fight with them. Mouth was actually training hard to be like his iodl, michael jordan. I think it's michael jordan, don't know much about basketball players. So they lost and humiliated, mouth was depress of being called "not suitable for basketball" by the seniors. What an asshole.
Mouth was living with the father, don't know where the hell the mother went. Can be dead or just fucking divorced for all I care. They took part a tournament held by adidas, because the seniors were taking part too, just to revenge. Before the tournament starts, a lot of stuff happened and mouth was locked by his father at home to study. He got no choice but to sneak out of the house to go for training.
So in the end, mouth and company finally to the final and lost.
Ok, here comes the complains. Why in the holy mother of fuck does this have to be made? This movie sucks so hard that it fucks, it is so fucking sucks that it don't deserve the timeslot in the cinema. Let's take a look at the description on gv.com.sg and the review from other place:
SLAM is set in the fast-paced, action-packed world of street basketball, in the rapidly modernizing city of Beijing, host of the 2008 Olympics. This story covers the strong universal themes of self-discovery, self-empowerment and the truth of never ever giving up. Featuring an all original soundtrack by platinum breaking Taiwan Hip Hop group Machi, and starring in his film acting debut Andrew Chou AKA: Machi Di Di.
"SLAM is undeniably one of the best sports movies made this year."
- MTV Asia Movie Review
"Exhilarating...action packed! Not to be missed."
- NBA China
Fast pace? Oh, you mean the shaking of the camera? It shake so hard that I can barely see what's happening on the scene. Talk about the camera, the camera work sure sucks. As a sport movie, the main thing is the sport itself. So in the case, it is the basketball. But why the basketball was offscreen so many times? I can't see the ball when it was shot or dunk.
Action pack? It should say, shit pack. Let's compare with another basketball movie, kung fu dunk. Yes, the one by Jay chou. In Kung fu dunk, the music and camera works very well with each other, it brings up the hype from the audience. Compare to slam, which don't even bring up 1% of hype from the audience. The music is dull, adding with the shitty camera works, it became a shitload of fuck, it's like a cruel joke to the audience.
Talking about audience, you guess how many people are in the cinema? 7... yes, it is fucking 7 and I'm not making this up. Despite it was just being broadcast, but before we went to watch it, there a few days interval only. So I supposed not many people watch it and I presume there will have a lot of people. Yet, only 7 audiences in the cinema including the 3 of us. Shit the fuck...
Another thing sucks is the name of the characters. The main 4 characters are called, mouth, monkey, jason and xiao xiao(roughly translated as small small). Like I said above, who the fuck would give such a bad name to their child. The name is so fucking weird that I don't even want to think of it.
One worst thing and the most important thing in movies, editing. The movie was VERY FUCKING poorly edited. Scenes when has to be cut were not cut, yet when it was not supposed to cut, it was being cut off. For example a scene in the movie, the father discover how bad the academic results of mouth was, he threw to mouth and ask him to pick it up and read. Guess what, the short one sec where mouth bent and pick up the result slip were cut. That is one of the part where it was not supposed to cut, it was being cut off. It's like the entire movie was poorly edited. Guess what? It is the fucking director do the cutting! So the director did such a bad job? He better not let me saw him on the streets, or he will fuck himself, forced by me.
One good thing about the movie and I mean only ONE good thing in the movie is that xiao xiao is a pretty girl, it steal the spotlight of the show.
This movie is so bad, that it is not worth to even mention the name. It shits for the birds. Yeah, for those who love basketball, it right up your alley...more like up your ass. Don't watch this movie, this one sucks ass.
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